Exercising Faith

I am fortunate to have grown up in a family of Christians.  We attended church, not just regularly, but pretty much every time the doors were opened.  I accepted Jesus into my heart as a child and my beliefs have always been a part of my life.  I can remember a few times, and I’m sure that there were others, that I wondered about my faith.  Was it really personal?  Did I believe just because that’s what I’d been taught all my life? There were other times that God felt so close that I had no doubts but every so often fear and uncertainty would creep into my mind.

One of the blessings that comes in difficult times is that faith can be tested.  Tests of faith are like exercising the muscles of the body.  Testing makes faith grow stronger.

When I was confronted with the reality of having a brain tumor, it was all or nothing for my beliefs.  I would trust that Jesus’ promises would see me though or I could wallow in despair.  My research into survivability statistics was not good. 

I never thought that if my faith was strong enough I would miraculously be cured (though I do believe that God could choose to work that way if that were His will).  I exercised my faith in this situation by putting my future completely into God’s hands.  I prayed that I would like to be healed but that I accepted whatever plan that He had for my life. I knew that whether I lived or died and how disabled I might become was ultimately in God’s hands and that “we know in all things God works together for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NIV) The experiences that I needed to go through would ultimately be for the best and would be within God’s will. God’s big picture view is so much more than I can imagine so I must trust that He knows better than I what needs to happen.  I don’t mean that I trusted God and refused treatments.  I did have all of the conventional medical treatments that my neuro-oncologist and his team recommended.  I also began being more careful about what I was eating and taking better care of my health in general.

It was hard the first time I prayed that I would accept whatever God’s will was, even if it was not for healing, but after I took that step I felt a deep peace.  I had to take that step out and trust God with everything.  One of my favorite stories from the Bible is in Joshua 3 when the Israelites crossed the Jordan River.  The river did not stop flowing until the priests stepped out and their feet actually touched the rushing floodwaters.  Once the priests had stepped out in faith the rest of the Israelites were able to cross over on dry ground to the Promised Land.